You know how I know you're an alcoholic?

Today my house mate Claire and i went on our weekly shopping trip together after realising that our only food options consisted of vita wheat's, cup-a-soup and nasty soy ice cream from 2007.
After filling our arms full of edibles we were contemplating what else we may need. I suggested the we head into the mixer isle...Claire turns to me and says "you know how i know you're an alcoholic? - you call soft drinks "mixers".

Bleak but come on, they were soft drinks when i was 12 and sugar was a cheap high. Now they're a means of disguising the fact that I'd much rather my alcohol straight and tapped into my bloodstream.


This is me in one of my finer
"you know how i know you're an alcoholic?" moments

Last night at work was DICK. Luckily however i was saved by my darlings Micky and Ben who took me out.

Managing to get our hands on some artist passes we went to the VIP performers bar to hang out with some of Adelaide's finest C grade nobodies, including the radio rentals guy (who is also the world filthiest dancer and most certainly 12 months interest free).

DJ was hot, everyone was dancing and when asked "so what do you do?" I kept saying in this very artistically aloof manner (in my opinion anyway), "darling, lets not talk work"...This wankery was only further enhanced by Ben following me saying "you totally out shone Johnny Depp in that film".

None the less i did still weep this morning at the prospect of heading back to Satan's den of hospitality, no jokes here, just actual tears.

Another day, another dollar

Uni today sucked nads! I woke up at "why was sunlight invented?" o'clock also known as seven only to arrive at uni and discover that the tutorial i had trekked the distance of north Adelaide to inner city Adelaide had been cancelled!

This is no good my frenz, no good at all.

But I feel my day can be redeemed. I am going to work at the Botanic Cafe and I am hoping my customers are feeling extra generous because i am feeling extra poor.

And then I will most certainly head to Supermild where my friend Ruby works to dance and drink to my body issues.

Ruby always includes pictures of what she wears to work and how she does her make up. Though she is far more beautiful than I, i have posted a picture of me dressed and made up for a night on the town.


As you can see here I am trying out the Daisy Duke. I should explain, these denim cut offs are nothing without the hose i use for a belt (pictured) which also doubles as a lasso which i use to keep my boyfriend from running away.
I don't know if you can tell but I've opted for the no bra option, I hear boys like it more.
So wish me luck! But with an outfit like this, who needs it?

Procrastination gives birth to more than determination

trust me, I go to uni...
So here, on this not so momentous day, an equally uninspiring thing is born. My Blog.

So why blog?, well primarily because i should in truth be doing something else, hence my ever so ground breaking title. But what i should be doing is brain-meltingly/soul-diminishing/ earth-swallow-me-now boring that i would have sawn of my own arm just to escape for the few minutes it would have taken me to fetch a bandaid or an ambulance perhaps.
I was studying Australian literature. There's very little i dislike about Australia but this scores top five with Bogans (or as the french say Le Boj'ans), John Farhnam, English Tourists and Delta Goodrem.
So this is providing a nice, however brief, retreat from "kill me now" written by "I'm a writer because my mummy didn't love me".

But perhaps the inspiration for this blog and where in fact i derived my title is a certain somebody called Ruby Chew.

Ruby was way clued onto the blog scene before I'd even learned that computers aren't just for google and porn. However, in reading her blog i realised how every now and then i would feature as "my friend rose". Naturally, i felt semi celebrity, like Monika Lewinski after featuring in tabloids as the "other woman". But it did make me seem somewhat anonymous, and being typically desperately UN mysterious I thought "dammit, i want a blog!"

I'm not sure what shape the blog will take, hopefully an oblong. But perhaps I can take you on a little tour of life as i understand it. Because I understand it to be pretty funny.

And if you're lucky, I'll introduce you to a few special people along the way.

And so here i am, Rose, Friend of Ruby, lover of life...I hope you enjoy my blog